Like a great many other males of this earth, I am frequently
seized with an insuppressible feeling of revulsion when faced with the prospect
of sitting down to watch a romance film. Gender bias aside, I do not think that
this feeling is unwarranted. Given the quality in recent years of the romance
genre across the globe, there is very little reason for any person, let alone
men, to waste their time with the products on offer. It used to be that romance
films were among the best examples of cinema for any given period in time.
Silent cinema produced some gems including F.W. Murnau’s
Sunrise (1927), but it
was in the 30s and 40s that Hollywood really embraced romance. Capra’s
It
Happened One Night (1934), Fleming’s
Gone With the Wind (1939), Cukor’s
The
Philadelphia Story (1940), Curtiz’s
Casablanca (1942), Lean’s
Brief Encounter
(1945), and so many more are all considered to be classics. Indeed even beyond
that period and also across the globe, cinema produced magnificent,
heartrending, devastating, and brilliant romantic films. I can’t say exactly
when it started but at a certain point the beauty, poignancy, lyricism, wit,
and levity began to disappear from the genre and what we have today is for the
most part a collection of the most astoundingly crass, classless, corporate,
consumerized, and commercialized examples of shockingly sexist, hollow, and
demeaning drivel. Harsh words but rarely so justly deserved.
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| Kim Tae-hee's sadface |
There are still some great examples, The Notebook (2004) and
(500) Days of Summer (2009) among others, represent some of the most worthwhile
examples of classical and progressive approaches to the genre. Sadly these are
few and far between. For this reason, and innumerable others as you well known
by this point, many of us have been drawn to Korean cinema. I am not allergic
to romance films because I am a man, I am simply offended by them because I
consider myself to be a discerning (and sadly very cynical) film lover. To my shock
and wonderful surprise, aside from the great Asia Extreme films that were the
introduction for many of us to Korean cinema, I discovered this far eastern
Asian cinema was equally adept at making timeless love stories. The first I
came across and to date still the most popular export in the genre was My Sassy
Girl (2001), a fresh, zany, hilarious, and touching romantic comedy that had
the ability to appeal to many demographics. Beyond that there are many romantic
Korean films that have moved us, including: Il Mare (2000), The Classic (2003),
A Moment to Remember (2004), Someone Special (2004), My Little Bride (2004),
and A Millionaire’s First Love (2006), to name but a few.
This is why, unlike anything that comes out of Hollywood, I
will give any Korean romance a chance. With this spirit I thought that I would
give Grand Prix a chance, a racetrack-themed love story starring the beautiful
Kim Tae-hee. Now I know that not every Korean film is going to worthwhile,
especially as romance is concerned, but I must say that I was quite taken aback
at how truly abysmal this film was. Cloying, saccharine, insincere, vapid, and
lacking any finesse and skill, Grand Prix is a film that attempts to be as
manipulative as it possibly can and as bad as that sounds, the fact that it is
so poorly made and in no way comes anywhere close to affecting us with its
confounded opportunism sticks it right at the bottom of the pile.
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| World's most irritating child |
Kim Tae-hee plays a jockey who falls during her race and her
horse, who has broken its leg, is put down in front of her. She is so
distraught by the experience that she do the only thing she can do and that is
to give up her profession and wear pretty clothes while traipsing around the
prairies of Jeju island and looking wistfully and longingly at the scenery and other
horses. On her travels, or rather the first thing that happens when she steps
off the boat, she meets another jockey (Kang Dong-geun) who is a guy she will
fall in love with for reasons unknown and is riding the horse that she will
ultimately compete with in the Grand Prix of the title. What else happens, let
me see there’s a local equestrian center and some old people who are mean to one
another because of some longwinded and laughably dark backstory, a frequently
topless male model who is just there for no ostensible reason, and the world’s
most irritating, uncute, and strangle-worthy child. If these elements can’t
combine into a surefire hit then I don’t know what can!
Grand Prix is one of those films that is masterful and
awe-inspiring in its complete and all-encompassing ineptitude. There is not one
thing that works in this film. The cast: Kim Tae-hee is pretty but can’t really
act, she is also the last person I would chose to cast as a jockey; Yang
Dong-geun (a replacement for Lee Jun-ki who dropped out to do military service
a month into filming) is irritating and a terrible romantic lead; I’ve already
mentioned the kid who I would have little reservations dropping off of a cliff;
and all the other inconsequential supporting characters are either annoying,
dull, or vacuous. The plot is hackneyed, patched together with an odd array of
multi-colored and ill-fitting bandaids, and replete with soulless, melodramatic
backstories. The production values are okay but there are some real problems
with respect to the sound and editing.
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| The insufferable Yang Dong-geun |
It was very difficult to watch this all the way through to
the end and despite being stubbornly democratic in my viewing tastes for Korean
cinema, especially as I undertake my 2010 film project, I daresay I regret
wasting my time with it. There are many far superior mediocre films that deserve your squandered leisure time over this. Don’t make the same mistake I did.
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